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regisfiliaaa:

Got ‘em, coach!

Ever since I graduated from high school I have felt this loneliness I’m still trying to figure out. Yes, obviously I’m not surrounded by a million “friends” anymore and I’m fine with that. I’ve never been that type of person who needs a billion people around them, I’m fine with one or two people who get my humor and views, and I did have a few really great friends but we all got older and most of them went away to school, and I stayed home and go to county, I work full time and I’m in nursing school, I just have a very different life than a lot of them now and I don’t have a lot of people who I can relate too and I miss that. I’m not saying that those people are immature or anything, like yes I grew up fast, and yea I see they party a lot and have fun and I don’t really get a chance too. I’m going to be a nurse in about a year and a half and I missed the whole college experience.. I don’t care about drinking and fucking around but I didn’t get to make any strong relationships. I mean after high school probably my closest friend moved away and that was harder than I thought and I’ve kinda subconsciously not been keeping as strong contact as I should because it’s just hard and I wanted to get over it and I’m realizing that’s not how to handle things. I’m just a cold person to people and to myself as well, I like to just “get over it” and I usually do, but when I actually care about something I don’t know how to handle it and I feel uncomfortable having strong emotions. I think after high school when all my friends went away to college and my friend moved away I really didn’t have a female friend that I was close with and I just would date guys one after another and have really only a relationship with them, but I didn’t even like any of them, and I became promiscuous and at first it was working, and it was thrilling and I felt like I wasn’t wasting my youth anymore living like a fucking single mom, but like 2 years later and I feel even more empty, I don’t want to date anymore because I don’t even know what I want and I can’t handle having guys treat me like shit. The fights I would have with them were out of control and I need to work on my anger and aggression because when I meet the right person I don’t want to be like that. I really underestimated the importance of having a strong female friend in my life and i learned that nothing can quit replace that feeling of comfort and sisterhood. I just feel like in he past I’ve gotten by by telling myself it’s gonna get better and things are going to change, I’ll meet new people and things aren’t changing… I kind of forgot to have fun. I miss joking around about stupid shit and I can’t do that anymore because I’m not close like that to anyone. It’s hard for me to make plans because my parents are strict and up my ass and I just have like ptsd from high school with going out an being a nervous wreck I was going to get in trouble when I get home plus I’m tired from working 50 hours a week. I wish I went away to college but then again I don’t. I like who I am and I have grown into a woman so fast, but there is a part of my life that is missing and I am having trouble figuring out how to fix it. I really think that I need to get my own place and maybe change locations for a little bit.. Financially its a burden, jersey is expensive especially morris county but I mean there are ways I could make it happen, but is it worth it to be working all the time just to live then studying the remaining time for nursing. I just am way overdue for change. I’ve always have a gypsy mentality and it makes me depressed and stir crazy when I’m faced with repetitiveness day in and day out.

niggajr:

weloveblackgirls:

s-kipp:

love this

Things like this make me uncomfortable

what is it?

saladder:

when u think u got over ur crush but he gives you like 0.2 attention and it starts all over again

(via imanawkwardturtle)

rxyalty:

Studio

(via blvckappeal)

shantrozay:
dopernose:

spring2000:

this is so scary and bad for some reason i’m really scared

Lucifer taking a bath 

It’s true, a cheater will always be a cheater… take it from a cheater.

"But by deleting the Jewishness of Jesus, Christianity prepared the soil for the demonizing of Jews, a religious anti-Judaism that morphed eventually into an anti-Semitism defined by "blood impurity." From that bigotry based in biology sprouted the European racism that would undergird imperial exploitation of native peoples everywhere. That, ultimately, led to the invention of the ethnic category ‘white’, whose relevance grew even greater in America. If Christians, that is, had not forgotten that Jesus was a loyal son of Israel from birth to death, the history of the last 2,000 years would be very different - and not just for Jews."

- James Carroll, 12/30/2013, Boston Globe

(Source: earisparticipates)